Becoming a parent for the first time is a joyful yet challenging experience. When your baby finally arrives, you’ll encounter a whirlwind of events—some expected, and others you never imagined.
Personally, I remember feeling so stressed that I almost put our baby in danger during the first day of caring for them at home. The constant crying—a deafening, non-stop symphony of tears—left no room for rest.
Thankfully, I stayed mindful enough to remind myself: babies don’t make mistakes because they haven’t yet learned how to communicate. It’s up to us, the parents, to figure out what’s happening.
Here, I’ll share the lessons we learned from caring for our first child, as insights for new parents to better prepare themselves. Here’s an overview of what mothers and fathers can expect in the first weeks after their baby’s birth:
1. Babies Cry All the Time
Why does your baby cry so much? Turns out, crying is their way of communicating. Based on our experience, try checking these two things when the crying doesn’t stop:
- Is their diaper wet?
- Or, is the baby hungry?
Even with diapers, babies might still cry if they’ve pooped—it’s uncomfortable, and the crying is their signal for help. If neither issue is the problem, they might simply want to be held, rocked, or cuddled.
2. Diapers and Potty Breaks
Babies will urinate and defecate frequently—8 to 12 times a day during the first 0–3 months. Don’t worry; this is entirely normal. So, be ready to check and change diapers often. Initially, you might feel overwhelmed, but you’ll get the hang of it over time.
What should you prepare to handle this?
- Ensure you have plenty of diapers stocked up.
- Clean the diaper area gently to prevent diaper rash.
- Use anti-rash cream when necessary.
In the early weeks, I personally preferred cleaning our baby with wet wipes if they pooped, followed by wiping again with warm water-soaked tissues, and then drying with clean tissues. For urine, I simply used water-soaked tissues to clean and then dried them directly. This careful routine helped prevent rashes.
When our baby’s neck grew strong enough to support their head, we began rinsing and cleaning them with warm water directly. If needed, we’d use a little baby soap before rinsing thoroughly again for extra cleanliness.
3. Sleepless Nights
Newborns wake up every 2–3 hours to feed, which can mess up your sleep schedule. Parents often experience exhaustion due to this interrupted sleep during the early weeks.
To cope, try to nap whenever your baby naps, and take turns with your partner for rest times. This period can be especially tiring for mothers, so the role of the father as a supportive teammate becomes essential.
4. Babies Wake Up for No Reason
Sometimes, babies wake up shortly after falling asleep—even when they haven’t peed or pooped. Of course, crying ensues. Based on what we observed, this might be because the baby wants company while sleeping. They might move their hands as if checking for a parent nearby. We also suspect babies detect people through sound, and if they don’t sense anyone, they wake up and cry.
Our solution involved wrapping one of their hands in fabric and placing a book or another object on top of their hand. The book’s weight would mimic the feeling of someone holding them, so they didn’t feel alone. Don’t use anything heavy—just enough to restrain small hand movements.
The fabric layer helped disguise the book while allowing the skin to breathe, preventing overheating. If the baby sensed their hand was held directly by plastic or hardcover material, this trick didn’t work.
To address sound cues, we surrounded the baby’s head with pillows—standing or stacked to about 20–25 cm high—to dampen echoes and mimic the presence of people. Be careful, though: ensure the pillows don’t fall onto the baby’s face, as that could wake them up or pose a risk.
If the house feels too quiet or noisy, try playing soft music at a low volume to create a calming atmosphere.
5. Emotional Changes and New Roles
Welcoming a baby into your life brings significant changes. Alongside joy, parents may feel anxious, stressed, or even experience baby blues (for mothers).
It’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner about the mother’s feelings. Husbands should listen without judgment or excessive comments, as mothers can be very sensitive emotionally. Shield them from thoughtless remarks from outsiders, as this could worsen stress levels. Give the mother some quiet moments to herself if possible, even if it’s just a few minutes daily.
6. Fatigue for Mothers
Don’t underestimate the physical toll of breastfeeding, as it can be exhausting. First, ensure the mother has enough food available, as they’ll often feel hungrier.
If fatigue is overwhelming, consider increasing calcium intake through food or drinks. An article in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism explains that during breastfeeding, a mother’s body undergoes significant changes in calcium metabolism to meet the baby’s needs. Studies show breastfeeding mothers may lose 3–10% bone density in the first few months, particularly in the spine and hips.
When calcium intake is insufficient, the body draws calcium from the mother’s bones, leading to fatigue and muscle cramps. Increasing calcium intake is vital for maintaining health and reducing fatigue—this was true for my wife, who felt much better after taking calcium supplements.
The recommended daily intake is at least 1000 mg, which can be achieved through foods like milk, yogurt, cheese, leafy greens, and nuts. Calcium supplements should be considered only if necessary, ideally with a doctor’s advice.
Don’t forget to drink plenty of water and maintain overall nutrition to support energy and health.
7. Baby Feeding Schedule
Whether breastfeeding or using formula, feeding your baby often poses challenges at first. Newborns feed every 2–3 hours, requiring extra dedication.
This erratic schedule makes downtime feel precious—use it wisely when your baby isn’t fussy.
Final Thoughts
Parenting is a journey full of learning. Every baby is unique, and so is every parenting experience. Avoid comparing your child to others, as this often leads to unnecessary overthinking.
Cherish every moment—even the challenging ones—because this time will pass faster than you realize.